// off the record
meet the penguin
He doesn't have a name. He filled out the form to get one — it's still pending approval.
The penguin is the face of Desk Face: a small, professionally dressed bird — technically born in business casual — who has been in the meeting you're in right now.
He has sixteen expressions and counting. Deadpan, with coffee. Head tipped back, staring at the fluorescent lights, asking them "why." Wide-eyed at the exact moment his name gets said on a call he wasn't listening to. Side-eye at the phrase "quick sync."
He is not sad. He is not thriving. He is fine — in the exact way you mean it when you say it.
Why a penguin? Because penguins already dress for the office. Because they huddle together to survive harsh conditions, which is also what your team channel is for. And because a colony of them looks, from a distance, a lot like an org chart.
Every penguin is embroidered, not printed. Real thread, one expression at a time — because if you're going to wear your feelings to work, they should at least be well made.
If one of his faces is your face: welcome. You're on the team now.